Reader’s Question: Bringing Back the Romance After Baby


As wonderful as having a baby is, a new addition to your family can mean that romance flies out the window. But all is not lost. Bring back the spark in your relationship with these few tips

Dr Paulette Sherman, author of Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart (Amazon) offers the following tips on how to spice up your love life after giving birth:

Implement Date Night

Baby may make three, but remember you’re still a couple. Having a date night once a week will reaffirm this. “Get a babysitter and go out as a couple and have fun,” Dr Sherman says. “This will remind you of how it was when you were dating.”

Get Intimate

Once the baby is sleeping through the night in their own room, make sure to build in private quiet time at the end of the day where you focus on being a couple and talking about non-baby-related things. “If you’ve had a long day, then do something relaxing together like exchanging massages, taking a shower or bubble bath,” she advises.

Create Romantic Rituals

Dr Sherman says her husband started rubbing lotion on her feet every night when she was pregnant – a ritual he continued after their child was born. Other couples have a glass of wine together, slow dance to their favourite song or watch certain shows as a way to feel closer. “Develop a bonding time or ritual away from your kids,” she says.

Escape Together

Once your little one is old enough to be left with a close family member, try to take a mini-break together each year as a couple. Go away for a romantic weekend alone for Valentine’s Day or your anniversary – or even for no reason at all. The time to yourselves will help you recharge and boost your romance, and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

Put on the PDA

You may be spending most of your time lavishing attention on your new bundle of joy, but it’s still important to show each other some affection. “Keep showing your spouse that they are special by surprising them with little romantic gestures like a card, a poem or flowers,” Dr Sherman says. This will help keep you connected amid the chaos of having a new baby.

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